What Dads Say Vs. What They Really Mean

What Dads Say Vs. What They Really Mean

Ah, dads. They mean so well and love us so hard. But as much as we love ‘em back, dads aren’t the type of people who, shall we say, could win every award when it comes to communicating. But have no fear! From now on, allow us to help demystify how your dad really feels. Instead of wondering what they’re really trying to say, here’s a handy guide.


WHAT DAD SAYS: I know we're running late to dinner with the in-laws, but I wouldn't mind playing another hole or two of golf.
WHAT DAD MEANS: I really regret making these stupid plans. I never, ever, ever want to leave here. I would build a house off the 9th Hole if I could.


WHAT DAD SAYS: I’ll watch whatever you want to watch.
WHAT DAD MEANS: I’ll just fall asleep in ten minutes if you don’t turn on The History Channel.

WHAT DAD SAYS: The dishwasher broke? I can fix that.
WHAT DAD MEANS: I will spend the rest of my life on earth trying to fix the dishwasher so we don’t have to buy another one.


WHAT DAD SAYS: Okay, I’ll have just one scotch.
WHAT DAD MEANS: I’ll start with one scotch, then have two, three, four... Heck, gimme that entire bottle!

WHAT DAD SAYS: I don't mind if you want to grill burgers.
WHAT DAD MEANS: Don't you dare touch my grill. I’m the actual burger king.


WHAT DAD SAYS: The roast chicken’s gonna be ready in five minutes!
WHAT DAD MEANS: I have no idea when the damn chicken will be ready and if you think about eating beforehand, I’ll be pissed.

WHAT DAD SAYS: Sorry, I can’t make it. I have plans tonight I can’t get out of.
WHAT DAD MEANS: I cannot wait to roll my spare coins. They aren’t gonna organize themselves!

WHAT DAD SAYS: I don’t need an iPhone. Just not interested. My flip phone is just fine.
WHAT DAD MEANS: I have absolutely zero patience to learn how to use new technology. Plus, I’m freakin’ terrified of it.

WHAT DAD SAYS: I’m really looking forward to when my mother-in-law visits for a week.
WHAT DAD MEANS: I’m really looking forward to locking myself in my den for a week.


WHAT DAD SAYS: I’m gonna go watch the news after dinner.
WHAT DAD MEANS: I’m gonna go fall asleep on the couch after dinner.

WHAT DAD SAYS: Yeah, waiter! The food is really good. Thanks.
WHAT DAD MEANS: I can’t believe I just spent 70 dollars on a chicken sandwich and two light beers.

WHAT DAD SAYS: Oh, you got me a gift for Father’s Day… I wonder what it is?
WHAT DAD MEANS: It better not be another damn tie.


WHAT DAD SAYS: Oh, a tie! Awesome. I love it.
WHAT DAD MEANS: This is the tenth damn year in a row. Guess I’ll throw it in the closet with the rest.

WHAT DAD SAYS: Oh, that’s interesting. Thanks for telling me.
WHAT DAD MEANS: Notre Dame just scored to pull within seven of ‘Bama and I’m furiously refreshing my phone, but go ahead! You have my undivided attention.

WHAT DAD SAYS: I’ve never heard of Dua Lipa.
WHAT DAD MEANS: I dream about Dua Lipa every day and if I ever had a ‘free pass,’ I know who I’d pick.

WHAT DAD SAYS: I’m gonna go meditate.
WHAT DAD MEANS: I’m gonna go mow the lawn.


WHAT DAD SAYS: Happy birthday! It’s a great age, I remember it well.
WHAT DAD MEANS: I’m completely blanking on how old you are.

WHAT DAD SAYS: It’s great trying out new food.
WHAT DAD MEANS: If you decide on shawarma or whatever it’s called, I’m just gonna make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

WHAT DAD SAYS: Yum, I love quinoa. Thanks for making it.
WHAT DAD MEANS: Did you just serve me bird food?


WHAT DAD SAYS: I’m really down with the latest music.
WHAT DAD MEANS: The last album I bought was Billy Joel in 1994.

WHAT DAD SAYS: I’m proud to be your dad and I love you.
WHAT DAD MEANS: I’m proud to be your dad and I love you.

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